Tuesday, July 24, 2007

Ruminations of the Fellas Weekend 2007 - Dr. Locks

journal entry 07-21-13-07
Fellas Weekend 2007

The Fellas weekends may come and go but the Fellas will last forever. In their ever-evolving and revolving paths around the Son and one another, they are eternal. It's so good to know they're out there. The fellas abide. I take comfort in that fact. I write this sitting in the DFW airport leaning against some weird "cell phone-plug-in-for-this-[fill in the blank]-must-have-service" kiosk.

The plane is late. The group still waiting for their plane and occupying my gate, the LaGuardia crowd, is getting restless. There is a measure of trouncing and hoof stamping among the pilgrims. Conglomerate, laptop-toting cows in a pen. Time to check out of the scene and reflect...

There is never an occasion of intersection with the Fellas en masse that I do not gain a substantial litany of new ruminations, assumed wisdom, and other considerations. There is a veritable faucet of "outside the box" conversation that occurs from 8 Pinnacle Court to the northern terminus of TX Hwy 360 and everywhere abouts in-between. I feel it is a sort of celebratable scribal duty to collect and record a bit of the happenings and utterings of the Forgiven and Eternally Loved Order of Das Fellas.

After a time of meditation, levitation and reflection, I respectfully submit, for your consideration, the following tidbits of wisdom, misconstruences and misspeelings and probable reality as seen through the Fellas, long may they roam and procreate...or at least go through the motions of such.

I have deemed the following list the "21 Ephiphanies":
1-Forks do not fling themselves.
2-Slobber is an unfortunate by-product of dogs and some women.
3-That 'Scream' mask is the scariest piece of vinyl I've ever seen. What is it about that thing?!
4-We all own too much stuff.
5-We all spend whatever we've got.
6-The Mayan calendar stops in the year 2012. In a related story, there is supposed to be a second killer asteroid heading for us right now. We thrive largely due to a constant informational barrage of potential disasters and misfortune on a global scale. Why is that?
7-Never start tequilla shots at 4:30 in the afternoon unless you plan to------Never start tequila shots at 4:30 in the afternoon, no exceptions.
8-Swimming pools have a maximum density. The equation is as follows: (F+x) + (By)/PV. This equation is absolute.
9-9 years and still perky. Amazing...
10-Sometimes in life the wires seem invisible. Sometimes they are painfully obvious. Either way, they're there.
11-Silly string is.
12.Silly putty isn't.
13-There should be a direct correlation between what we say and how much time we have to say it.
14-If the luggage bag doesn't fit in the overhead compartment, push harder.
15-"Feathering" the clutch is not the answer for obtaining more power.
16-The house in question should look NICER after than before the event's occurance.
17-Planet Earth is the coolest series ever on TV, aside from the collected works of Matt Groening, which is, without peer,the most anthropologically important documentation of our American culture...for better or worse.
18-When they're not there, they're there.
19-Or they're at the other place.
20-The opinions expressed herein are not necessarily consistent with that of the ownership and management of the Parent Company.
21-No one knows who comprises the Parent Company, though there are rumors.22-It is imperative that we respond to our world by being the Hands and Feet of God. We must wash ourselves often and thoroughly. Behind the ears, too.
23-Some houses are built with straw, and some with bricks, but you can also build houses with wooden palettes. And they're pretty good ones, all told. I guess you can build them with tumble weeds, too.

There. The 21 Epiphanies. Though they were born of the weekend in context, I encourage you to experiment with their breadth, and consider applying them to your larger life in such areas as relationships, Faith, care of domestic animals and children, business and financial decisions, sex, and car maintanence.

Argghh, me laddie. Peace out.

Respectfully,
Brother Dr. Clint Locks, M.Ed.Fender of Forks, long distance member in good standing of the Forgiven and Eternally Loved Order of Das Fellas
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